d GURU'S Guide to Greatness

Aite so dis is mah lil ADVICE column cus i think ppl relly need it .. i helppin nebody by d way .. man or oman

ok dis one is for the fellas ah call it "GETTIN CLOSURE"

so this one time d guru waz wit dis bish .. one ah waz runnin behind from months before .. . ah tell yuh.. it was ah dimepiece .. and one day ah get thru and finally end up gettin she over to meh place .. ah waz ready to take it to d promise land bruthaa!!

so thingz relly start to progres .. and az we went along ah end up goin dong on it ... thingz was movin on nice but then all ov ah sudden outta d blue dis bish rrelease ah fart .. rite in meh face!! and bruthaa, man mood change one time .. ah waz vex .. d*ck geh sorf .. i lorse it afta dat .. ah was blue ah tell u ..

so a couple mths pass an i eh contact the chick or run into she anywhere since .. but ah waz still thinkin bout she for some reason ... ah jus couldnt get she orf meh mind

az luck would have it bruthaa!! ah ran into she at ah bus stop few wks later an waz jes smilin .. so i jus went up to she and did what waz natural ... buss ah fartt rite back in she face !! and everting waz great since then i doez never hah issuez again

so rememba fellaz .. alwayz get yuh closure! it iz important

holla!!!

Cool story bro.

maybe steve can learn a thing or two, since he has trouble finding a lady to accept his blackness

if ah waz ah oman i wudnt want he niggery ass eitha ..

so yeeh peeple the guru acceptin private messages ask nething i guh give d advice ok

holla!!!

ummmmmmm i'm married to a russia girl you idiots! You yea i don't have trouble getting a girl!

24hrs later aftea d guru sent d man into hidin .. our pale friend returns wit ah love story!!! an it hah somethin to do wit russia!! how shockinn!!! ..



wha d guru relly tryna unnastan is how caribbean ppl doez alwayz get tizik when they go europe and usa for ah holidayy dis man not only cumin bak wit ah accent, but man take ah wife yes!! amazin!! ah kno d man kina slow so ah guh breaks it dong...


steve i suggess u jump orf ah bridge cause d guru couldf alwayz pick up on ah bs story .. not evn dem russian 300 Pounds mail order brides would come within ah foot near yuh .. doh make yuhselfff look mo schupid

u b needin the gurus help.

holla!!!

lmfao! You just an idiot u know that?

^ d last wordz of ah man who cannot respond .. ah think u mean .. u know u been humbled by the guru?

holla!!!

Da fuck?

I have no idea what's this dude's problem :/

This one wreaks of a man loss he gyul kinda deal. Steve, what exactly did you do????

This is the shit lifetime movies are made of.